Income tax troubles for Amitabh Bachchan
The Income Tax department is not in consensus with the HC order that had agreed to Bachchan claiming a benefit under Section 80RR of the Income Tax Act (which provides 30% tax relief on income of artistes from outside India).
According to the department, Big B was an anchor of ‘KBC’ and not an artist. Moreover, the income to be categorised under Section 80RR must have either come from abroad or the artist must have performed outside India but in this case the show was shot in Mumbai itself hence, no tax relief should be granted.
The dispute over taxation is on a total earning of Rs 13 crore which Bachchan earned from ‘KBC’.
Aishwarya was never under consideration for Barbie Doll, it was only me - Katrina Kaif
Katrina's face will now adorn those of Barbie dolls worldwide. And the actress is for once openly flattered. "I'd call it a fun honour. To have your face on dolls that you've played with from childhood is quite flattering. We've been in negotiations for nearly six months. It finally came together for the 50th year celebration of Barbie," she reveals.
Yesterday, at the Fashion Week, Katrina walked the ramp in a small pink dress like the one designed for the Katrina Barbie. Says Katrina, "Contrary to what people believe, my Barbie is not an Indian counterpart of the international brand.
It's an honour because I'm the first Indian to be the face of Barbie. I think in many ways it's an endorsement of how kids connect with me.
You can't be the face of an international doll unless kids like you. The thought that kids like me enough to make me a part of their doll collection is very gratifying."
With the Barbie image coming to the surface again, Katrina is somewhat worried about the bubbly-girl image that she'd like to change.
"So much for my attempts to move to a more mature level as an actor," laughs the actress. "I guess Prakash Jha's Rajneeti will take care of that. But I'm very happy being the clean healthy Barbie."
The doll's look and dress were planned in collaboration with Kat. "It is quite something, if you think about it. But I'd rather not. I don't want my head to get swollen.
For me it's enough that I was chosen because I reflect a certain bubbly wholesome personality, quite contrary to the sexy tag that I get in net polls and which I'm not very comfortable with," she says. The Katrina Barbie will be launched in September.
Katrina Kaif will become the first Indian and join the likes of Beyonce Knowles, Elizabeth Taylor and Diana Ross, who have all had their own limited edition celebrity Barbies.
Farah Khan choreographs Salman Khan's next
After choreographing Kylie Minogue in Blue, Farah Khan is now currently choreographing a song on Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Preity Zinta and Sohail Khan for Salman and Sohail's home production, Main Aur Mrs Khanna, directed by debutant Prem Soni at Kamalistan Studios.
Says a source, "Farah Khan is today known to be India's top choreographer and Salman and Sohail are sparing no effort to give Prem what he wants for his dream debut.
Tagged to the Khan-Wagon: Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Preity Zinta and Sohail Khan
When Prem expressed his wishes about wanting Farah to choreograph a song on Preity Zinta, Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor and Sohail Khan, Sohail immediately called up Farah and requested her to do it.
Even Kareena was heard recently complaining to Farah at Sajid Nadiadwala's party that she hasn't choreographed a song of hers for a long time. So both Kareena and Prem's wishes came true."
What about Salman and SRK not being on talking terms? The source says, "Farah is a professional and though she's close to Shah Rukh she doesn't interfere in personal equations.
She recently choreographed Akshay Kumar and Kylie Minogue for a song sequence for Blue. Farah loved the song concept for Main Aur Mrs Khanna."
Farah Khan says, "Sohail requested me to choreograph the song and I couldn't refuse."
Prem Soni says, "Farah is like family for Salman and Sohail and we got along very well. Farah is the most entertaining choreographer on screen and a great entertainer.
The song is about Preity. It's a groovy contemporary disco number with music composed by Sajid-Wajid. Farah loved the idea when we played the song for her."
Talking about how they got Farah to choreograph the song Prem says, "I love Farah.
Dancing is her forte and wherever she choreographs the entertaining value gets enhanced from the looks to the visuals. Farah was in my head right from day one when the song was conceptualised.
When I expressed my dream of working with Farah Sohail made the first call after which I called her. We again bumped into each other at a party and hit it off.
I am blessed to have someone like Salman in my life. He's made things possible for me."
Rajiv Surti has choreographed the other songs in Main Aur Mrs Khanna.
Minisha Lamba's Innocence at Lakme Fashion Week
Inspired by Victorian architecture and Indian motifs, Archana created a fusion of lehengas, saris and gowns; with filigree and cutwork that highlighted the garments beautifully. The colour palette wove around five jewel tones of red, coral, electric blue, wine and emerald with a solitary gold sari making a stunning appearance. Georgette, net, silk were transformed into dreamlike creations.
The start of the show had a dramatic ghagra splashed with a profusion of roses which were lit with neon lights. Vida, Miss Afghanistan followed in diaphanous 60 metres tulle for filigree an embroidered lehenga. Combining gowns with saris, Archana gave the Indian woman a new fashion alternative.
Another striking ensemble was a red gown dazzling with Swarovski filigree, while a 330 metres gown left the audience breathless with wonder. 3D embroidery, rouched rosettes, rows of crystals and zari embellishments, pleats, rouched bodices, cascades of fabrics, 20 feet long trails on gowns, textured skirts all came together to add to the collection’s glory which could make sensational Red Carpet options for celebrities.
Archana recreated the grandeur of 18th century glamour onto the ramp and left the audience amazed with her elaborate creations and the exquisite workmanship of her craftsmen.
Aishwarya Rai refuses to be immortalized as Barbie by Rajiv Dutta
"Mattel again proposed that Aishwarya Rai Bachchan endorse the Barbie doll but as her prior commitments stretched her for time she had to decline yet again. The turn of the millennium special edition celebrity doll was to feature Naomi Campbel among others," a statement issued by Aishwarya's spokesperson said here today.
On the eve of the favorite doll's 50th anniversary, Aishwarya is still the most sought-after celebrity to be passed off as a celebrity Barbie.
Mattel was also keen to have Aishwarya walk the ramp on Lakme Fashion Week as 'Barbie dolled up' in a design as Single Likeness Barbie, which would be unveiled and auctioned for a charity of her choice.
Conversely, due to her pri or commitments which includes filming of Vipul Shah's "Action Re play" and her being honoured with Padmashree, she opted out of the event as she did not want to inconvenience the producer/director anymore while taking time out to this event, the spokesperson said.
"Nonetheless, the earlier ideas have been revised, all the possibilities and talks of a business venture with Aishwarya & Barb i.e. is still in the process of being finalized. So, whether Ash-Barbie doll will hit the shelves or not is something only time will tell," the spokesperson added.
Salman - Katrina headed for Splitsville
While Katrina is still holding on to Salman and hoping that he understands how much she still loves him, Salman has been behaving strangely towards her. An industry source said, “Salman hardly talks to Katrina even when she is with him. Periods of cold silence in any relationship signal that the couple has drifted apart and this is the last thing Katrina wants in her life.”
But Salman doesn't seem to understand. “Problem is, except for one thing, Salman hasn't changed at all. Like all his previous relationships (with Somy Ali, Sangeeta Bijlani and Aishwarya Rai) to him, love means ownership,” said the source.
“Like always, this time too, Salman wants to entirely control the reins of his relationship with Katrina. Just like he will not directly confront Katrina on her friendship with Ranbir Kapoor or any of her other co-actors, Katrina too has been told in no uncertain terms that she shouldn't question him about anything,” added the source.
Commenting on the one change in Salman, the source said, “Suddenly, Salman has started feeling that he should get married but to someone who will be a perfect housewife and not someone who has a life of her own.”
Where does that leave Katrina? Why is Katrina not calling it quits? Our source said, “Katrina loves not only Salman but also his parents. She doesn't want to do anything that will hurt his family. She is very fond of all of them.”
Meanwhile, Katrina is hoping that 'this too shall pass' but Salman still remains the man who doesn't seem to care about anything or anybody. Like the source said, “When will Salman realise that love is all about companionship?” Now that's a million dollar question.
When Gauri changed Shah Rukh's name to 'Abhinav' by Rajiv Dutta
''He was always ambitious right from his childhood days, in his school in his college he has always been on top. Whether it was as a student; football, hockey, his theatre anything, whatever he would touch would be gold. I think I was smart to marry him. I think that's my smartness that I chose the right guy,” she quipped.
Gauri Khan appeared in a celebrity chat show, 'The First Ladies with Abu Sandeep' produced by Red Chillies Idiot Box. The show is hosted by renowned designers Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla.
Gauri, who is also a television and a film producer apart from being a closet interior decorator, talked at length about SRK’s hard work and dedication. “It's amazing and we thank god every day for whatever we have but I think Shahrukh is extremely hard working so he deserves every bit of it,'' she said.
However, the lady denied being the pillar behind SRK and added that she was not happy being in Mumbai and wanted his films to flop. ''Actually that's not true because I was not too happy about him coming to Mumbai and I didn't even know when he became a star it was very shocking for me firstly to be here and films and everything. It was very very difficult. And I actually did not want his films to do well. I thought if it flopped I should go back to Delhi. Because you know when you are so young and I got married when I was just 21, everything was so new that for me it was like everything should flop,'' she said.
Gauri talked about their love story, ''Yes, he was the first person I met and went out with and he has been the only man. My parents were obviously against it because we were so young and then to get married to a person who was going to join films and being from a different religion. We even changed his name to 'Abhinav' so that they feel he was a Hindu boy and that was really silly and childish.''
''It's been an amazing journey. When I came to Mumbai it was very difficult I enjoyed every bit of it but it was so new and life was very different new people and new home. But we went back very often to Delhi in the beginning,'' she said.
Recounting the struggle they went through, Gauri said, ''We stayed at Mr Aziz Mirza’s place for 6 months it was very sweet of him and then we rented an apartment and there was nothing - no bed, no sofa, no chair just a kitchen. My mom who used to visit me from Delhi was shocked to see me like that. She said 'why don't you have a bed? Where is the chair?' so I said this is the 'Gadda' (mattress) sleep on this.''
HEALTH FITNESS TIPS
Cholesterol is a type of fat made in the liver and found in animal foods.
CHOLESTEROL IS NEEDED FOR IMPORTANT BODY FUNCTIONS. Such as...
* Building cell walls
* Protecting nerves
* Making hormones.
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF CHOLESTEROL.
* THE GOOD. (HDL or High Density Lipid)
* THE BAD and the UGLY!! (LDL or Low Density Lipid.)
A higher level of HDL is needed to carry LDL from the BLOOD back to the
LIVER to be ELIMINATED from the body.
If there is a higher level of LDL cholesterol in the BLOOD this may:
* Cause high blood pressure!
* Raise your risk of heart attack!
* Raise your risk of stroke!
* Cause the kidneys to fail!
HOW ??
Cholesterol is broken down into LDL which is needed by the body cells. Once
the cells are satisfied the unused LDL remains to become what is known as
blood cholesterol.
The main danger of high blood cholesterol is that fatty plaques may form
which will decrease the diameter of blood vessels. This leads to a
restriction of the flow of blood and oxygen to the tissues of the body.
* If an artery supplying blood to the HEART becomes blocked you may have a
heart attack!
* If an artery supplying blood to the BRAIN becomes blocked you may have a
Stroke!
* If an artery supplying blood to the kidney becomes blocked you may suffer
kidney failure.
WHAT CAUSES HIGH BLOOD CHOLESTEROL?
The main causes are:
* Eating too much high saturated fat. i.e. fat found in butter and dairy
products, cakes biscuits and take away foods.
* Being overweight.
* Not exercising.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO LOWER YOUR CHOLESTEROL?
YOU CAN ......eat more:
* Fruits and vegetables.
* Oily fish (tuna, mackeral and herring).
* Skinless chicken.
* Fibre rich foods, e.g. oats and wholemeal bread.
YOU CAN.... eat less
* Fried take away fast foods.
* High fat dairy products and eggs.
* Saturated fats and oils.
* Biscuits, cakes and pastries.
YOU CAN... USE
* Unsaturated margarine instead of butter.
* Unsaturated oils (olive oil) instead of lard.
* Low fat cooking methods: steaming, grilling and microwaving.
YOU SHOULD...
* Make exercise a part of your day. (Walking is good).
* Not smoke
* Drink more water.
THE LINK BETWEEN BLOOD CHOLESTEROL LEVELS AND HEART DISEASE IS CLEAR.
STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT IF AN AVERAGE MAN CAN REDUCE HIS BLOOD CHOLESTEROL
BY ONLY 10% HE CAN REDUCE HIS RISK OF HEART ATTACK BY UP TO 50%!!
Start NOW to make the changes because.....
YOUR HEALTH AND WELL BEING ARE IMPORTANT
TO YOU AND TO US!!
Wishing You A Healthy Life
These five hot spices can be good for everything from easing arthritis pain to keeping your heart healthy.
Recent studies suggest that when it comes to cuisine, kicking it up a notch can be as good for your health as it is tasty for your palate.
Some spices, particularly hot ones, contain phytochemicals that may help ward off cell damage associated with chronic diseases.
Chili Powder
Potential health perk: Relieves achy joints.
Research shows that capsaicin, found in chili peppers, has an anti-inflammatory effect, which may help ease arthritic swelling and pain.
Hot way to dish it: Sprinkle a few shakes of chili powder and salt on baked French fries.
Cinnamon
Potential health perk: Protects against Type 2 diabetes and heart disease.
A 2003 study found that about half a teaspoon lowered blood glucose, cholesterol, and triglyceride levels.
Hot way to dish it: Mix half a teaspoon of cinnamon into your coffee, or jazz up whipped cream with a couple of pinches.
Curry Powder
Potential health perk: Safeguards your brain.
The yellow curry pigment curcumin may fight Alzheimer's by thwarting development of the disease's signature amyloid brain plaques, says a study.
Hot way to dish it: Whisk 1 1/2 teaspoons mild curry powder into mayonnaise to dress up sandwiches.
Garlic
Potential health perk: Improves your heart's health.
Brigham Young University researchers found that garlic consumption can lower total cholesterol and triglyceride levels by an average of 10 percent.
Hot way to dish it: Add minced garlic and chopped cucumber to plain yogurt for a light dip or salad dressing.
Wasabi
Potential health perk: Prevents ulcers.
A 2004 South Korean study suggests Japanese horseradish can kill ulcer-causing Helicobacter pylori bacteria. Plant chemicals may also prevent tooth decay.
Hot way to dish it: Mix a smidgen of wasabi paste with mashed avocado for a snappier guacamole.
I came across an article talking about hazardous effects of mercury in the CFLs bulbs on unborn babies and children. We simply throw them away when they stop working without realizing the effects. Unfortunately we don’t have proper infrastructure to dispose and recycle them. Guess the best option is to stop using them completely or may be ban them too!!
Whenever you are fixing a salad, there are always a few ingredients that instantly come to mind. There is really no helping it, you will either think of lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers. You are possibly thinking of cheese and your favorite dressing too, but in any case, all of those ingredients are already too cliché. You can be very creative when it comes to salads too, and we get to explore other salad fixing ideas through this article.
When you go visit your favorite salad bar, I bet the first thing you will see is the lettuce section. As a matter of fact, creativity starts with this basic ingredient among salads. Chances are that the salad bar you frequent will contain other types of lettuce. Instead of choosing the one you like, try mixing them all up. The taste difference can be subtle, but this is where it all starts.
Next, try adding more of those vibrant colored vegetables into your salad. If you think about it, vegetables with different colors not only act as a decoration to your meal but can be very appetizing as well. Carrots and peppers look nice in a salad, or opt in for some “bloom” by adding in broccolis, cauliflowers or mushrooms too.
Most vegetables used in stir fry are also perfect as salad fixings. Zucchinis and baby ears of corn are perfect examples. Most people don’t even think about adding these ingredients for a salad, but actually they contribute a great deal of flavor if added into the mix.
All in all, a salad can be fixed with just about any vegetable you can think of. There is a reason why salads are considered to be very healthy meals, and are used frequently by those who are in diet or watching their weights. Just think about the nutritional value of each salad serving, especially when you add all the fixings just mentioned above.
It is not only vegetables that add nutritional value to a salad. For a really well rounded meal, you can also add fruit into the mix. Most salad bars contain apples, pineapples and bananas. Other than these, there are also a couple of berry types you can use. Dried fruits like raisins or prunes add a lot of flavor to the mix. Generally, fruits are sweet and can really satisfy your palate. They add a lot of vitamins and minerals too, which means you’re adding more nutrition to your meal besides those from the vegetables.
Lastly, it’s worth considering also those toppings you see at the end of the salad bar line. Seeds, nuts and meat bits populate this area and instead of just going with the conventional cheese, why not add these ingredients too? You’ll be surprised at how much flavor they can contribute to your salad. The trick is just to experiment, and you’ll soon have your new favorites at the end of the meal.
In summary, when it comes to salad fixings, the sky is really the limit to how much experiment you can do. It’s hard to break a tried and tested recipe, but as you try new things you might have never imagined eating in a salad, you’ll soon find the new ingredients worth the taste too. Give those neglected fixings a chance, it’s really much better and more fun that way.
How to Properly Clean Your Nose to Fight Sinusitis and Allergies
Sinusitis and Allergies negatively impact tens of millions of Americans in the workplace, at home and at leisure. Each year they suffer the same symptoms because they continue to treat their conditions by blindly following commercials designed to market medications targeting symptom relief for sinus headaches, sinus congestion, post nasal drip and a runny nose. Eventually the body develops resistance to the pharmacologic effects of these medications and newer generations of antihistamines, decongestants, expectorants, nasal steroids and antibiotics have to be utilized to obtain some form of relief as the body battles to fight off symptoms and/or infection.
You may be thinking right about now; “what else can I possibly do?”
Below is a simple phrase, direct and comical, that should help you to remember how to begin treating the underlying condition instead of just seeking symptomatic relief:
Hose Your Nose!
I do not mean spraying a garden hose into each nostril and flushing your nose like a car radiator. One of the most effective ways to remove pollens, animal dander, insect waste, molds and chemical irritants is by practicing some form of sinus irrigation. There are several forms of sinus irrigation that are adopted by individuals fortunate enough to have been made aware that this solution even exists. I only recently became aware of nasal irrigation a few years ago and I am into my mid forties. However, not all forms of sinus irrigation provide the same level of effectiveness to relieve sinus sufferers of their symptoms and to restore their noses to top working condition.
For your consideration:
The neti pot is a plastic, ceramic or metal container that looks very similar to Aladdin’s lamp or a distorted tea kettle. The neti pot is filled with a salt water solution and the spout is directed into one nostril and poured into the nose. People often report the awkwardness and messiness resulting from using a neti pot. It does provide some benefit to rinse the nose of allergens that are in contact with the inner lining of the nose. However, it is limited in scope to efficiently cleanse the cilia in the nose of gummy, infectious mucous; the bulk of the solution poured into the nose flows directly over the top of the bio film covering the cilia. If the hair-like cilia in your nose are unable to oscillate freely, the mucous in your nose becomes stagnant and breeding grounds for bacterial and viral infections.
Lavage bottles or sinus rinse bottles hold a salt water solution. When squeezed a large volume of water is channeled through a spout and forced into a nostril. Once again, they may be effective at rinsing out allergens; however, the solution typically will flow over the top of the bio film covering the cilia. Sinus irrigation is most effective when you restore the mucociliary system to transport mucous to the back of the throat.
The good news is that neti pots and lavage bottles have been dramatically improved upon. Pulsatile Irrigation Systems delivers a soothing stream of a saline solution into your nostrils that provides immediate natural relief. Pulsatile Irrigation accomplishes two different objectives. First, it flushes out the reactive allergens adhering to the inside of your nose. Second, the pulsating action of the saline solution gently erodes way the thick, infectious bio film preventing the mucociliary system from performing the function of ridding the nose of debris. Respiraid is a company with the mission to help people breathe more freely and distributes a cost effective and convenient to use Pulsatile Irrigation System.
Here is the bottom line; washing out a cut or laceration is common protocol to prevent infection. Does it not make sense to clean your nose?
The purpose of this article is to inspire people to think more practically about how to treat their underlying sinus conditions. Medication does play an important role in alleviating symptoms and promoting healing when appropriate. Consult your medical provider to discern how you may be able to reduce your dependence upon or increase the effectiveness of medications designed to help sufferers of sinusitis and allergies.
When you have acne breakouts, the best thing that you should do is to practice proper hygiene and skin care. You should also improve on your diet. If simple lifestyle changes won’t work, then perhaps the use of acne treatment products should be considered.
Most acne treatment products get rid of acne by reducing the amount of oil produced in the body. The components of the products speed up skin cell turnover and unclog the pores of the skin. They also fight the acne producing bacteria and get rid of the infection and the skin inflammation. In most cases however, the ingredients may cause an acne breakout before the actual acne treatment procedure. Regardless of the severity of the skin condition, it is advised that patients should first consult with their dermatologist or physician before using any kind of acne treatment product.
Acne Treatments That You Can Choose From
Topical Treatments
For those who have mild cases of acne breakout, acne lotions and creams are often recommended. These topical medications work by reducing the oil in the skin and killing the bacteria that causes the acne. They also get rid of the dead skin cells. Most of the over the counter lotions and creams contain benzoyl peroxide, sulfur, resorcinol, and/ or salicylic acid. As for the prescription topical medications that are provided for those who have moderate cases of acne, they contain vitamin A components that prevent the plugging of the pores.
Antibiotics
For those who have severely inflamed acne cases, most dermatologists will suggest the use of antibiotics. These medications are often obtained only when prescribed by a physician. Antibiotics get rid of acne by reducing the bacteria that clogs the pores and then diminishing the skin inflammation. In severe cases, the patient is required to take the antibiotics for a couple of weeks or even for months. Most of the time, these medications are paired with prescription topical creams.
Isotretinoin
When acne creams, lotions, and antibiotics do not work, isotretinoin is sometimes used. This medication is sometimes recommended for deep cysts and for scarring cystic acne. Even in the most severe cases of acne, this medicine works effectively. Despite the efficiency of the treatment however, it should be noted that such may cause severe side effects as well. That is why close monitoring and guidance of dermatologists are needed.
According to the results of some clinical studies, isotretinoin may cause severe birth defects. As a result, it should not be taken by pregnant women or women who belong to the reproductive age. Aside from birth defects, the use of this drug can also cause an increase in the triglyceride levels of a person, as well as an increase in the cholesterol level in the bloodstream. Some also report that the drug may also cause an increase in the enzyme levels of the liver. When taken continuously, the product user may also develop inflammatory bowel diseases.
Oral contraceptives
Some contraceptives – particularly birth control pills – can be used to control the occurrence of acne. The most common oral contraceptives used as acne treatment solutions are the combination of norgestimate and ethinyl estradiol (Ortho Cyclen, Ortho Tri Cyclen). Based on some clinical studies, these chemical components may regulate hormonal levels and decrease a person’s susceptibility to acne breakouts. However, some oral contraceptives may cause some side effects.
HAIR MAINTENANCE
There are a few things you can do on a regular basis that will improve the overall health and appearance of your hair, as well as a few things you can avoid. In general, here’s a few standards:
· Brush your hair: Yep, the good old fashioned hundred strokes. This stimulates blood supply to the scalp, removes dead skin cells from the scalp before they can get infected, and distributes sebum over the hair shaft for moisturizing and protection. Bend over from the waist and hang limply while doing some of the brushing. Use a natural bristle brush or other gentle brush. Be careful and don’t hurry. Better to go slow and only get 30 strokes in, than go fast and risk breaking or pulling out your hair. Get into the habit of brushing your hair thoroughly before washing it.
· Massage your scalp: Before you stop to groom and brush your hair during the day, make a point of doing a quick scalp massage first. Slip your fingers into your hair, and using just the pads of your fingers, massage in small circular motions over your scalp. Using your finger pads will keep you from breaking your hair, scratching your scalp and messing up your style too much. Then restyle, re-spray (if you use it) and go...
· Break Day: Get into the habit of giving your hair a break once a week. It is not necessary to wash your hair every day (unless you are a teenager, have a dirty job or work up a real sweat every day). If you are over the age of 20, and do not have any rashes or infections (like dandruff), give your hair a break for a whole day. Pick a day where you normally do not go out, or just do housework and run errands. Do not wash with shampoo and do not heat style. If you just feel too grubby and must do something, after brushing your hair thoroughly to distribute the sebum, simply wet your hair, apply a little daily conditioner to the ends, rinse well, and then pull back into a “wet look” ponytail or bun. Give your hair a break from shampooing once a week, and whenever possible, from blow-drying and heat styling.
· Conditioning Treatment: Unless you have very fine, limp hair, get into the habit of applying a deep conditioning treatment to your hair once a week. Deep conditioners are not the same as daily conditioners, and homemade preparations work really well. Coconut oil is especially good for hair conditioning. Brush your hair, wash it lightly, and then towel dry. Apply your deep conditioner and then wrap your head in a heated towel to open the hair cuticle and allow the conditioner to soak in. Leave for 10 minutes to half and hour. Then rinse thoroughly in warm water to remove the conditioner residue that remains, then cool water to close the hair cuticle. Rinsing your hair in cool water can be a little uncomfortable, but it can do amazing things for the appearance of your hair. It closes the hair cuticle close to the shaft, which increases shine and manageability, and helps to keep hair strong. A mixture of cool water and lemon juice is even better for shine and strength (a half of a teaspoon of lemon juice in two quarts of cool water is sufficient).
· Daily Conditioner: Get into the habit of applying a daily conditioner to hair ends every time you shampoo. This will reduce slit ends, discoloration when coloring, damage when heat styling and reduce the need for frequent trims. Use a product designed for thermal styling if you frequently blow-dry, use a curling iron or hot rollers.
· Haircuts: Get into the habit of getting your hair trimmed when it needs to be. Again, this reduces split ends and keeps excess weight off your hair (which can cause breakage). About once every 8 weeks is right for shoulder length or longer hair, once every 6 weeks for shorter styles.
· Up-Dos: Yep, that’s right – if you have long hair and want to keep it that way - put your hair up when possible. I’m not suggesting you look like an librarian every day, but one of the reasons that women grew such long beautiful hair back in the “old days” is because they wore it up all the time. The weight of your hair can stimulate the start of the telogen phase. When hair is weighed down and very long, it stops growing and falls out, or simply breaks off. Putting your hair up frequently will keep that weight off the root of the hair. You can pin it up gently with bobby pins or a banana clip when running errands, doing housework, cooking dinner, doing yard work, messing around on your computer, watching TV, etc. Now, this depends on your hair style and hair length. If you have a short hairstyle, this step is not only unnecessary – it’s impossible. However, if you have shoulder length or longer hair, and want it to be as thick and healthy looking as possible, make it a point to put it up and keep the weight off your scalp. The other upside is that it will help keep the hair out of dinner.
How to Wash Your Hair
Believe it or not, there is a right way to wash your hair. Treat it like the finest silk! If you’ve ever made the mistake of running a pair of expensive silk hose through your washing machine, you’ll know what I mean.
Here a few tips for avoid causing any excess damage to your hair while washing it:
1. Let your hair hang naturally when you wash it; either standing in the shower or with your head leaning over the bath, or in a shampoo sink. NEVER – NEVER – NEVER – pile it up on your head to wash.
2. Wet your hair with warm water (not hot) to prepare it for shampooing. Keep the pressure on the showerhead gentle enough to avoid excess water pressure on your hair.
3. Pour shampoo into the palm of your hand.
4. Work the shampoo into a lather in your hand, and apply to your scalp. Work the shampoo into your scalp all over your head by massaging with your fingertips (not your fingernails). Move fingers from one area of your head to the other by lifting the fingers and then placing them elsewhere on your head. Do NOT drag them through your hair. Remember, hair is the most vulnerable to damage and breakage when it is wet. If your hair is particularly dirty or oily, you can work the shampoo through to the ends. If your hair is very dry or processed, you may just want to wash your scalp, and let the shampoo pick up any dirt or oil on the ends as it’s rinsed out.
5. Rinse hair thoroughly with lukewarm water. Ensure that you allow it to hang naturally. You may spread it out gently with your fingertips if it’s long and needs extra help getting out the shampoo.
6. If you chose to use a rinse-out conditioner, this is the time. Unlike shampooing, apply conditioners to the ends of your hair, and if your hair is generally dry, apply the remainder on your hands gently to the roots. Repeat the rinse.
7. Towel dry gently. The new hair towel wraps are excellent, keep hair in place and aren’t heavy like a towel wrap so there’s less risk of breakage to your hair.
8. Once hair is towel-dried you can apply a leave-in conditioner.
9. ALWAYS comb wet hair with a wide-tooth comb– NEVER brush wet hair.
10. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER sleep on wet hair – it is vulnerable when wet, and can break easily as you turn on your pillow. Even if it doesn’t break, it roughs up the cuticle and makes it look dull.
11. Air dry hair whenever possible
SMS
1................Illumination
A single candle can illuminate an entire room. A true friend lights up an entire lifetime. Thanks for the bright lights of ur friendship.
2....................Sweet SMS
A friend is sweet when it is new. And it is sweeter when it is true. But you know what? It is sweetest when it is u.
3.....................Coin
A coin is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. The coin depreciates but a friend appreciates. I lost a coin when I smsed u, but it's okay because I got u.
4..........................Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
Bartan Lelo Bartan�.
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
Hai tu agar mera dilbar,
To aaj ke lunch ka bill tu bhar
Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri
Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri
5......................LONG SMS
Treat life as a sea, heart as a seashore and friends like waves. It never matters how many waves are there? What matters is which one touches the seashone Difficulties in ur life do not come to destroy u,But to help u realize ur hidden potential
Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
TRUE FRANDS R THOSE WHO CARE, WITHOUT HESITATION WHO REMEMBER, WITHOUT LIMITATION WHO FORGIVE, WITHOUT EXPLANATION WHO TRUST WITHOUT COMMUNICATION
Many people will walk in and out of your life,
but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.
A good friend is like a computer
I 'enter' ur life,
'save' u in my heart,
'format' ur problems,
'shift' u 2 opportunities
& never 'delete' u from my memory!
If friends were flowers surely I would not pick you! I'd let you grow in the garden and cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you forever.
In my dreams, we were never apart. In my dreams you kept me close. In my dreams you loved me the most. In my dreams we're always together. Might as well be dreaming forever.
Friends are like the walls of a house. Sometimes they hold you up, sometimes you lean on them. But sometimes, it's enough to know they're just standing by.
What are the differences between a peso and a friend? A peso is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. A peso loses its value, a friend increases its worth. I don't have a peso but I have you!
If friends were flowers I would not pick you!
I'll let you grow in the garden & cultivate you
with love and care so
I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!
I MaY Not Be a cLocK ThaT maY TexT yOu 24hrs a DaY But My HeArt Will bE LikE a CloCk ThAt will nOt sToP CarIng & SayInG U r aLwaYs RemeMbEreD. TakE CaRe.
One day u will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life?
I will say: my life¦ You will walk away from me without knowing that U R MY LIFE!!!
Flowers need sunshine,
violets need dew, all angels in heaven know
I need u. years may fly, tears may dry,
but my friendship with u will never die.
Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need you. Years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with you will never die
Dosti- kaho to ek lafz,
mano to bandagi,
socho to gehra sagar,
dubo to zindagi,
karo to asan,
nibhao to mushkil,
bikhare to sara zamana,
simte to SIRF TUM
I don't care how many lips u'vee kissed, how many shoulders u've embraced & how many times uâ've said, I luv u! All I care is not be the first but to b ur last!
If I'm in hell & u r in heaven, I'll luk up & b glad of u. If I'm in heaven & u r in hell, I'll pray 2 God 2 send me down coz the heaven is not heaven without U
6.....................CONGRATS”
U have been awarded an M.B.A degree
For not Smsing me.
MBA means ‘Member of Bhikari Association’
Kindly forward it 2 all M.B.A’s.
7.....................A sardar and a poet diner together.
the poet asks sardar "pass the wine u divine".
Sardar thnks "how poetic"
and in turn tells " pass the custard u basturd"!!!
8..................One smart fellow, he felt smart.
Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
Three smart fellows, they all felt smart
9.................Goodnight sms messages are usually sent as a good night greeting. some buddies like to send funny good night jokes. some prefer to send good night text messages in their native languages i.e urdu or hindi. And almost every lover is suppose to send a good night love sms or a sweet / romantic good night sms before he finally went to the dreamland.
We hope you will like our good night sms collection.
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
10.....................Amitabh -
mere paas rocket hai,
shurli hai,
chakri hai,
murga bumb hai,
anaar hai,
tumhare paas kya hai?
Shashi kapoor -
mere paas
maachis hai!:p
_________________
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
11..................Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, funny, well...
Enough about ME!
How about you?
_________________
I m not a STRANGER,
M just a Friend u haven't met!!
12......................Jony Jony S pappa.
F***ing girls S pappa.
Wearing condom No pappa.
Getting AIDS Haa haa ha.
AIDS awareness. Prevent it. Send 2 all careless F***ers.....
_________________
EVEN THE GREATEST CREATION
STARTS FROM A SMALL SEED
13........................KARKE DOSTI HUM KISIKO NAHI BHULATE....
ZINDAGI BHAR HUM DOSTI HE NIBHATE....
NA HO APKI DOSTI ME BATVARA,
ISLIYE TO HUM NAYE DOST NAHI BANATE
*****************************************************
We are all born in this world for some special Purpose...
EVERYBODY IS UNIQUE AND NONE OF US ARE WASTE.
So, don't be a prisoner of past be an architect of YOUR future.
14......................Din Guzar gaya hai Intezaar Mai
Raat Guzar gayi Intezaar mai
Naya Saal Mubark ho Aap ko
2008 beet gaya Aap ke SMS k intezar mai
15....................kuchh beete hue lamho se mulakat hui
kuchh tute hue sapno se baat hui
yaad jo karne baithe un tamam yaado ko
to aapki hi yaado se shuruat hui
16.................................keep messaging me,
win xcting prizes:
1st pries a lot of love.
2end pries life time frindship with me.
3erd pries free stay in my heart
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Tum milo na milo koi gham nahi,
SMS karo yeh milne se kam nahi,
Dosti mein dhoka de who hum nahi, Humari dosti bhi Bunty aur Babli se kam nahi,
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Allah he Allah kia kro.
Miss call na kisi ko dia kro.
1 Rupay ka SMS he
Kabi Kabi to kia kro.
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Jb log sabhi sojatay hain
hm sms ki toon bjatay hain
wo jo sungi, sathi, bayli hain
wo jo dost, yar, shayli hain
sotay say un ko uthatay hain
or kan may ye gun-gunatay hain
aap khuwabo? say dil behlatay hain
hum aap ko yad frmatay hain.
jag gai?
Msg parh lia?
ab jawab do ma-bdolut intazar frmatay hain.
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_,______
/______/\.;';';,
l__[]__l[]|,,)(,
Its my HOME
gift 4U
chaho to SALE kar k balance dlwa lo
MAiN road pe reh lunge
mgr TUMHARY sms k bagher nahe
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Hum tum pe itna dying.,
jitna sea mein pani lying..,
Akash main panchi flying..,
Jugnu raat main gaying..,
kabse hum yunhi crying..,
Phir b U R not replying..!
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SMS karne k faide
1- Mobile ko zung nahi lagta
2- Time pas ho jata hai
3- Jise karo ge wo khush rahe ga
4- Contact bana rahe ga
5- Koi kanjoos nahi kahega
####################################################################################
Yad rakh ker meri dosti ko tmne,
Meri zindagi per ek ehsan ker diya,
Is mobile main yeh last rupiya tha,
Dekho humne woh bhi tery nam kar diya.
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A dost tu jitni achi nibhata ha yaari
uski muje puri ha jaankari...
To phir dikha apni dildari aur
bhej itne msg ke aane na paye
meri bari;-)
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Jo mujhe abhi msg na bheje. Wo..?
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Wo thori der baad bhi bhej sakta hai..!
Koi tension nahi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Na Hawa Na Maya Hai,
Ehsaas Tumhara Aaya Hai,
Humain Bhi MSG Kar K Dekh Lo DOST,
COMPANY Ne Yeh MOBILE Sirf Tumhary RISTEYDARON K Liye Nahi Banaya Hai!!!
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Baari barsi khatan gaya c khat k laiyandi kheer
.
.
.
Jairha mainu 10 SMS na bhejay o apni mashook da veer.... !
bolo tara ra ra.
Bhej rhe o ya fair veer..
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Lub Pe Aati Hi Dua Bun K Tmana Meri
Sim Bnd Ho Jaey Allah Kare Teri
Har Jaga Mere Chmakne Se Ujala Ho Jaye
Agar ap Mujhe Sms Na Kare
Apka Rung
Kala HoJay;-)
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Bhai 1 acha sa SMS to send karo...
Agar acha na ho to ganda hi karo...
Aisa karo koi funny msg karo...
Agar funny na ho to poetry karo...
Agar poetry na ho to koi sexy hi karo...
Agar koi b SMS na hoa to Mobile Ka Qeema Bana lo %=====@
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"Chhoti -chhoti" baatoon se takraar na kiya karo
Hamare har mazak ko dil pe na liya karo
Kya pata saath hai aur kitne din ka
Tab tak to pyar bhare SMS kiya karo
####################################################################################
aap ki dosti main gazab ki mithaas hai us se zyada aap k sms jhakkas hain mere cell ko aap k sms ki talaash hai q k aap k sms k saamne saare sms khallas hain.
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Dosti Karo To Hamesha Muskra K
Kisi Ko Dhoka Mat Do Apna Bana K
Karlo SmS Jab Tak Hum Zinda Hain
Phir Mat Kehna Chale Gaye Dil Mein Yadein Basa K... :->
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Pyaar k lai mohabbat.
Aur mohabbat k lai pyar .
Do?no aik dosray k lai .
Lekin message k lai sirf tum.
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Circut: Bhai msg karnay may kitna maza ata hayna ak dum chakas!
Munna: Magar is msg ko parhnay waly Rootlo ki to jaan jati hay msg kartay waqt.
Circut;per humari to chawanni jati hayna
Bhai.
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*****Masrufiyat*
*Kanjusi*
*Gurbat*
*Laparwahi*
*Narazgi*
*Guroor*
*Hath ki chot*
*Mobile ki kharabi*
*Alfaz ki qillat*
*Ya koi or waja hai
sms na kerne ki*****
####################################################################################
Bas kya yehi tak hai saath humara,
Intezar karte rahenge hum tumhara,
K kab hogi is kambhakt mobile mein roshini,
Aur kab aayega message tumhara... ;->
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Yun to DON Mazak kia nhi karta,
Gun tu kia Bulet b diya nhi karta,
ye to baat ap jese Dost ki hai,
Warna SMS to kya!
DON kisi ko apna Number b dia nhi krta.
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Agar ho udas to gao koi gana,
agar lagi hai bhok to khao tum khana,
agar ho bimar to karo aik sms rawana,
kyunkeh.
aik sms rozana,rakhy tandrust Or tawana.
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,-|'"""""""""'''|
/--[SMS PoLiCe] ,-/'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''/
'''O'""""""O"O'"" /--[SMS PoLiCe]
Hum Aapko Arrest Karne Aye Hain, '''O'''''''''''''O''O''''''
Apki CompLain hy K Ap Apne Dosto'n ko koi SMS nhi karte.. ;->
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wo ishk to karti hai par janon nahi karti. Wo katal to karti hai par khon nahi karti . Eis kadar kanjoos hai meri chahne wali Mis call to karti hai phon nahi karta
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Arey O friendwa!!
Kesan ho?
Hamar se koi ghalti hoi gawa ka?
Tohar SMSwa k darshan kiey ik jamana beet gawa
Torant ik dui SMSwa bhijwai do hamar tuntuniya pe
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Kabhi aap bhi humse baat kar liya karo, milne ki faryad kar liya karo,ek hum hai jo her baar shuruat karte hai,kabhi ap bi hume humse pehle yaad kar liya karo.
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SMS Ki Umeed Laga Rakhi HE,
Nazar Mobile Pe Tika Rakhi HE,
Battery B Full Charge Kar Rakhi HE,
Per SMS Aaenge kese?
Dosti KANJUS?N Se Jo Bana Rakhi HE.
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XCUSE ME....
WATS UR MOBILE NUMBER???
I WANNA RECHECK...
COZ I FEEL THERE'S SOME ERROR...
KYUNKI SMS JATA TO HAIN PAR AATA Nahi he.
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Lage raho
.
.
Lage raho
.
.
Koi kuch nahi kahe ga
.
.
Aur kahe ga bhi to kaunsa farq pare ga
.
.
Lage raho
.
Besharmon ki terha
Sms receive kerne mein :->
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0
0,=_
/ \ // ??
Kya hua yaar agar sms ka balanc nahi he tou is me pao pakrne wali kia baat he uth jao phir kabhi sms bhaij dena
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Purana Loha becho.
Teen dabba becho.
Sukhi roti becho
Plastic ki jootyan becho.
Raddi akhbar becho.
Un paiso se
Balance dalva k
sms to BHEJ?.
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JOKES
"Well, doctor, 15 years ago..."
"Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."
"Like I was saying... 15 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.
I said, "No, everything is fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I'm sure," I said.
"Isn't there anything I can do for you???" she wanted to know.
"I reckon not," I replied.
"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What the hell does this story have to do with your broken leg?!?!?"
"Well, this morning," Banta explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"
2..........................The CBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him:
"Do you love your wife?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"Do you love your country?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"What do you love more, your wife or your country?"
"My country, sir."
"Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun and go into the next room and kill her."
The man goes into the room, and all is silent for about 5 minutes. He comes back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He puts down the gun and leaves.
The second guy comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him the same questions, and the responses are the same. The interviewer gives him a gun, and tells him to go kill his wife.
The guy puts the gun down and says "I can't do it..."
The third guy, Our Santa comes in, the same thing happens. The interviewer gives him a gun, and tells him to go kill his wife.
The guy goes into the room, and BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! This is followed by a bunch of crashing sounds that end after a few minutes. Santa comes out of the room with his tie loosened, and puts the gun on the table.
The interviewer looks at him and says "What happened?!?!"
"The gun you gave me was filled with blanks so I had to strangle her!"
3...........................Santa used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident.
Banta was visiting him in the hospital.
Banta, "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank God that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."
Santa, "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!
4............................Banta, "Preeto and I are going to get a divorce".
Santa was stunned. "Why? What happened, you two seem so happy together"
"Well" he said, "ever since we got married, Preeto has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market."
"Are you a little bitter because she spent so much time trying to change you." Santa probed.
"Nah, I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
5.......................Santa heard his son reciting his homework:
"Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...'" "Shut up !" shouted furoius Santa. "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords".
"But, Dad," replied the boy, "that's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Santa went right into the classroom to complain.
"Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four.' "
6........................Banta and his fiance, Preeto, arrived at town hall seconds before closing time, and caught a judge just as he was about to leave, and asked him to marry them. He asked if they had a license and, when they didn't, sent them off to get one.
They caught the town clerk just as he was locking up, and got the license from him. When they got back to the judge, he pointed out that they had filled the names in backwards -- his where hers belonged and vice versa.
Banta and Preeto rushed back to the clerk's office, caught him again, and got another license.
This time, the judge noticed that the clerk had filled in the date in the wrong format. Again they catch the clerk ... After five reissued licenses, the judge is finally satisfied.
Judge: "I hope you appreciate why I made you keep going back. If there are irregularities in the license, your marriage would not be legal, and any children you might have would be technical bastards."
Banta: "That's funny - that's just what the clerk called you."
6...........................Banta's wife, Preeto, goes to England to attend a two-week, company training session. Banta drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
Preeto answers, "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
Banta laughs and says, "An English girl !!!
Preeto kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later Banta picks her up in the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?"
"What I asked for, the English girl?!"
Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl !!!
7...........................In a Test between India and Australia, the fiery Bret Lee was sending quivers down the Indian spine. The new batsman, our Santa, walked slowly to the crease, not feeling unlike a lamb at the slaughter house.
As Lee thundered in, suddenly Santa stood up in the crease, and signalled that he wanted the sight screen adjusted. Adjustments were made and Brett Lee was ready to come in again.
Once again, in the middle of his run-up, Santa found something disturbing in the sight screen. Indeed, this went on a few times before the irritated umpire, Steve Bucknor walked up to the batsman and enquired, "Where do you want the sight screen, for God's sake?"
Santa asked, with an ounce of fear, "Could I have it between Lee and me?"
8.....................A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.
"If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body,
desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.
"But if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against
winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public
coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it."
"This is my position, and I will not compromise!"
9.....................Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."
_________________
"The only thing I like about rich people is their money."
10........................AX STRUCTURE IN INDIA
1) Qus. : What are you doing?
Ans.: Business.
Tax: PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
2) Qus. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans.: Selling the Goods.
Tax: PAY SALES TAX!!
3) Qus. : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans.: From other State/Abroad
Tax: PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!
4) Qus. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans.: Profit.
Tax: PAY INCOME TAX!
5) Qus. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans.: Factory.
Tax: PAY EXCISE DUTY!
6) Qus. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
7) Qus. : Do you have Staff?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
8 ) Qus. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY TURNOVER TAX!
9) Qus. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans.: Yes, for Salary.
Tax: PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
10) Qus. : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans.: Hotel
Tax: PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
11) Qus. : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!
12) Qus. : Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!
13) Qus. : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans.: Gift on birthday.
Tax: PAY GIFT TAX!
14) Qus. : Do you have any Wealth?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY WEALTH TAX!
15) Qus. : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans.: Cinema or Resort.
Tax: PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!
16) Qus. : Have you purchased House?
Ans.: Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE !
17) Qus. : How you Travel?
Ans.: Bus
Tax: PAY SURCHARGE!
18) Qus. : Any Additional Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX !!!
19) Qus. : Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans.: Yes
Tax: PAY INTEREST & PENALTY
11............................A presidential staff advisor walks into the daily meeting a little late and notices that everyone has a glum look on their face -- some even look a little frightened -- and Clinton isn't in the room.
"What's the matter?" he asked
"Well, we had some bad news, and just got some even worse news."
"What's the bad news?"
"India has detonated some atomic weapons at their underground test site; Pakistan has done the same at their proving area; and China is warning them both that this could lead to regional war -- that may go nuclear."
"Oh my God, what could be worse than that?"
"Well, Bill just got hold of some Vi**ra."
12.................................Gyani Zail Singh went to the US & had a meeting with Reagan. Reagan said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me."
Reagan takes him in a deep forest and says. "Dig the ground."
Zail Singh digs.
Reagan says, "More, more, more..."
Zail Singh has now reached a 100 feet.
Reagan says, "So now, did you find anything?"
Zail Singh, "I got a wire!"
Reagan says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!"
Zail Singh was very frustrated and he invited Reagan to India.
In India GyaniJi says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in India!"
He takes Reagan to a forest and asks him to dig.
After some time GyaniJi says, "More. .. more... more!"
Reagan has now reached almost 400 feet.
Zail Singh says, "Find anything?"
Reagan tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!"
GyaniJi says, "You see even 400 years ago we had gone WIRELESS!"
13.............................Late one night in Washington, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs.
"Give me your money!" he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can’t do this. I’m a United States Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "give me my money!"
14............................Vajpayee, Musharraf, Madhuri Dixit and Margaret Thatcher are traveling in a train.
The train suddenly goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a slap! The train comes out of the tunnel. Thatcher and Vajpayee are sitting there looking perplexed. Musharraf is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap. All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.
Thatcher is thinking: These Pakistanis are all crazy after Madhuri. Musharraf must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him
Madhuri is thinking: Musharraf must have moved to kiss me, and kissed Margaret instead and got slapped.
Musharraf is thinking: Damn! it, Vajpayee must have tried to kiss Madhuri, she thought it was me and slapped! me.
Vajpayee is thinking: If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and slap Musharraf again.
15.....................An important politician was seen moving around with a film actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony.
But being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of looking into her past and finding out if she had any previous affairs with any men.
After a few days, the politician at last received his detective's report, which went like this:
"Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation. Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very respectable background. No one has anything against her character. But yes, according to my sources, for the last couple of months she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious reputation."
16.....................Rabri : Ka karat ho?
Laalu : Ek dost ko chitthi likhat hu!
Rabri : Par tuhar likhna to aawe nahi.
Laalu : Vo sasura bhi to padhna nahi jaanat.
17........................here was a political leader who was on the verge of being defeated in the elections. When he received a phone call saying that his wife had delivered triplets, he exclaimed: "Oh! I demand a recounting."
